Repairing Holes

First of all I want to mention a giveaway going on right now over at Xazmin's in honor of her 100th post. They are some way cute homemade personalized blocks...this lady is so crafty! Go check it out!

Okay, so I'm participating in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop again this week. The prompt:

**Today I will....**

Today I will rejoice in the fact that the hole in my wall is now gone.

There has been an unsightly hole in the wall behind our front door for...oh, a long time. Originally we had a door guard on the wall for protection against this type of thing...you know, when the door gets shoved open and the knob slams into your wall. Well, the guard fell off and I'd been bugging Jimmy we'd been meaning to fix it for months but kept putting it off. Finally the inevitable happened and one of the kids jerked the door open and BANG...a dent in the wall.

"We need to fix that!" I kept nagging reminding Jimmy but it never happened. After a while of repeated door bangings the dent became a hole, then eventually a giant gastly gash.

I hated looking at that gaping blackness against my wall. It was such an eyesore. It was a constant reminder of something that needed to be fixed but I was waiting for Jimmy to do it. In an effort to make myself feel better I painted the walls in that room, hoping it would help. It didn't. In fact, against the freshly painted clean walls the hole in the wall stood out even more.

Today I repaired it myself. I went to Lowes and purchased a repair kit, some compound, a scrapper thingy, some spray texture and in less than an hour the hole was gone. I'm no professional and you can definitely see the imperfections of my work but I don't even care. That ugly, haunting jagged gash is gone.

Yesterday I fixed another hole I had but this wasn't the gash-in-the-sheetrock type. It was the wounded heart kind. After weeks and weeks of carrying hurt feelings and bitter thoughts about a person who at one point had been one of my closest friends, I decided it was time to repair it. Because no matter how much I tried to improve other areas of my life, the fact remained that I had an eyesore in my heart and it was staring me in the face. It seemed like the longer I dwelled on it and kept looking at it, the bigger and bigger it was growing.

But shouldn't she try to make it better? Shouldn't she have to fix it? I kept justifying to myself. Afterall, I was wounded, too. But just wishing and waiting was not working. So completely out of the blue yesterday, I had an urge to picked up the phone and just dial her number. I didn't know what I was going to say. How do you go about repairing a mess of emotions? But to my great happiness and relief she was as willing to move forward as me and in less than an hour the hole in my heart was gone.

Like the wall behind my front door, our relationship isn't exactly the same as it was before it was damaged, but that ugly, haunting, blackness is repaired and I can finally feel real peace.

Princess Scrapper is A FINE Example

We started something new at the house last week. For the record it was my Jimmy's idea. We decided to try and offset some of the "negative parental feedback" (also known as hounding, criticizing, nagging, and occasionally--by a mother who will remain anonymous--huffing) with something constructive and positive. Actually, the first recipient of the "FINE Example award" sort of set this all into motion.

Meet Leah. She is the family princess. Adorable, as you can see, and unique in every way possible. She is the most maternal and sweet natured of my children....

UNTIL....she feels she's been wronged and then she turns into this:

So a couple weeks ago she got sent to bed for beating up her older sister (this is one tough princess, people!) whereupon she proceeded to exclaim a sordid variety of outbursts one of which included, "I HATE Mom!" (Don't feel too sorry for me. I'm not the type who goes to puddles over a dramatic six-year-old. I know she loves me.) This declaration was followed by many loud crashing sounds coming from her bedroom upstairs. Jimmy went up, I stayed down. (Because frankly, I can outmatch her fits any day of the week and I wanted to avoid that pretty little demonstration!)

So, to break this down a little, Leah's infarctions included:

1. Breaking Fine Family Rule Number One: She didn't show respect and

2. Breaking Fine Family Rule Number 54679: She threw a fit.

The punishment from Dad: Nothing sweet comes out of your mouth, nothing sweet goes in it. Grounded from treats for a week (including after school snack...do I hear another back pack post coming? Oh dear me!).

Anyways, as always I forgot about the incident the next morning. I was making her lunch and asked if she wanted a cookie. Nope, she reminds me. "I can't have that stuff 'till Saturday, remember?"

And so for the rest of the week she faithfully reminds her forgetful mother that she is grounded from all sugary treats and I was way impressed. I told Jimmy about it and he decided to institute the "FINE Example award" and presented her with a candybar during a special family awards ceremony to commend her on showing exceptional * INTEGRITY *

So now we're on the lookout for more "FINE Examples" illustrated in the family and you should see how the kids straighten up their behavior when I say, "I'm looking for a FINE Example...."

Ahhh...I love our last name!

FMM: 5 Senses

I have been looking forward to Mondays thanks to Kasey's prompts that help us all share a little somethin' about ourselves. Today it is about the 5 senses. For each sense we are supposed to list 4 things we like about that sense and one thing we don't. If you'd like to join in just follow the link to her website and link up! It's an easy way to post something new and a great way to make new friends!


SMELL

1. Flowers
2. A good laundry detergent
3. Baking bread
4. Baby's breath (not the flower, the real deal!)

I dislike the smell of overbearing, musky perfume.

TASTE

1. Chocolate
2. Italian food
3. Mexican food
4. Cheesecake

I dislike the taste of fish.

TOUCH

1. Newborn babies
2. An embrace from Jimmy or the kids
3. A soft, cuddle blanket
4. Clean sheets in my bed (amen Kacey and Tanielle!)

I dislike the touch of anything icky and slimy. Gross.

SIGHT

1. Jimmy walking through the door at the end of the day.
2. Temples
3. Flowers
4. A clean home (mine preferably!)

I dislike the sight of a pile of dishes.

SOUND

1. The absolute quiet of when the kiddos are in bed asleep.
2. My children's laughter
3. Good music (Sarah Brightman currently)
4. Morning birds

I dislike the sound of anything scratchy and abrasive...like the screechy sound of a screw being drilled in too tight in a stud. Oooooh! That hurts my teeth!

My first Blog Award!

I got back from taking Romy and Teags to the doctor for their 4 year and 1 year checkups. Yeah, three hours in that icky, germy place, thank you. But the wait was worth it because we switched doctors and I love love loved the new one. Such a difference! Anyways, after 9 combined shots and a knocked out toddler (No! I did not! She was just worn out, thank you very much.) But I will admit I would have liked to have been knocked out while waiting in that teeny tiny room for so long with two restless kiddos! Anywho...I came home exhausted and depleted and much to my surprise found this:

It's my very first blog award given to me by a bloggy buddy, over at

This Is The Year. Thanks so much Xazmin!

It made my day (and I love reading your blog, too!)

The Rules of Accepting and Sharing this Award:

1.Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an attitude of gratitude.

3. Link to your nominees within your post.

4.Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award.

5.Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for the award. Tell us how you've come to have an attitude of gratitude.

I don't think I've mastered the art of having a grateful attitude but I do know that it's one of the most important attributes we can have. I believe every good thing we have in life is a gift from God and truly I give Him credit for everything wonderful in my life and the list is a long one. It includes the basics like my husband and children and the Gospel, but also encompasses the little things like finding a new doctor that I really like or the oomph to finish my exercise in the morning.

Once I read a book ("Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach) that recommended writing down five things that happened each day that you were grateful for. I tried it for quite a while and was amazed to find myself watching, waiting, on the ready to spot it the moment happened--that thing I was grateful for that I could write in my Gratitude Journal that night. After awhile I began to notice something: it wasn't the spectacular moments in my days that determined my mood or whether or not something was going to be important. It was the day-to-day occurrences that I wanted to remember, cherish, and be ever grateful for: the way my daughter's eyes sparkled when I pushed her on the swing, the moment my son rested his head on my shoulder as I read him a story, the three squeezes from Jimmy's hand in mine--our special way of saying, "I. love. you."

And the funny thing is that the more you are looking for things to be thankful for the less you are looking for things to complain about. And that is a beautiful thing. Perhaps I should pick up an old habit again!

Now...I nominate this award to go to the following 10 grateful bloggers: Shalene (private), Sally, Holly, Alyson (private), Channy, Gene, Ashley, Lisa W.(private), Gayle, and Suzi. Your blogs make me smile!

Popping the Question...

The previous post about my junior year high school Prom got me thinking. (The year was 1996 in case you played along and guessed!) I'm not sure when or why exactly this custom started, but back in my day you just didn't simply 'get asked' to Prom. The Big Question always required Effort (yes, with a capital E!).

In fact, I distinctly remember a conversation with one of my friends where we resolved that we would indeed not agree to go to Prom with any boy who simply just asked. Nope. We were worth more effort than that, thank you very much. After all, everybody knows that the more he really likes you and wants to go with you, the cooler and more creative the way he'll think to ask you with, right?

And so my junior year I came home from a late shift of working at Dairy Queen to find my entire room--yes, my entire room filled with balloons. They all had a message inside of them and it was my job to pop every. single. one. of them before finally, I popped open the balloon with The Big Question in it, "Will you go to Prom with me?" The whole ordeal took over an hour. I remember because my mother has the whole thing on video.

So my question to you is...how did YOU get asked to Prom or how did your Hubby pop the Big Question to you? Was it a big, creative production? A quiet romantic setting? Did you have to pop a million balloons or was it strewn across the sky in fireworks? (Come on...it wouldn't surprise me!) Leave a comment and tell us about it!

Prom Tag

I was tagged by Tanielle over at Polka Dotted Daisy to post an old Prom picture of mine. Don't start laughing yet, ladies, because I am going to be tagging 5 of you when I'm done!

THE RULES

#1. Leave me a comment guessing which Year this photo was taken. I will post the correct year in a few days after a few guesses come in...how fun!

#2. If I TAG you...DIG up your old Prom picture...post it and lets guess the date too...(if you really are that self-conscience and don't want us to know the date...maybe we can guess the decade?)
~If you are married to your Prom date let us know!
~If you are not...try to post a Prom picture of your Prom & a second picture of your husbands prom too...let us know where each of your Dates are now...and their relationship status!! (and of course YOU are way cuter than his Prom date!)

#3. I am gonna TAG some people...and then those taggers need to keep it going by tagging 5 other people! Ready? Here goes....

Actually, I dug and dug but could not for the life of me find the actual "Prom Photo" we took at the dance. So you'll have to settle for some (VERY BAD) shots we took at my house before we left for dinner. Mom has the uncanny ability to chop the heads off of just about every photo she takes, and these were not exception. So I apologize in advance for the bad pics, but they were all I had!

I didn't marry my prom date, though at the time I thought I would. Like Tanielle, my boyfriend went on an LDS mission and I was married before he came back. But I have some really fun memories that I'm still thankful for! We keep in touch a couple times a year and I hear he is doing well!

And, my husband's prom picture? Yeah. He's much older than me and I don't think Prom was actually invented yet! :) In truth, I asked him and he said he didn't go to Prom. He was hoping to take me but at the time I was still in preschool. (love you, honey!)

So there you have it. Now...I tag

1. Tori O.

2. Shalene G.

3. Rachel @ The Kooky Queen

4. Sally @ Sally's World

5. Gina Gae @ A Handful of Life

"Make new friends...

...but keep the old.

One is silver, the other gold."

(Author Unknown)

We had Game Fight Night at our house last night and invited my two Best Friends since middle school and their families over to play Settlers of Catan. Can I just say

it was so much fun!

(Note Rachel's #1 sign. She cheated won! By the way, that's my baby she's holding.)

Seriously, there is nothing like being with the two friends who have known me the longest and the best. Together we've been through teenage drama, boy craziness, high school stress, college separation, marriages, and child bearing and rearing. (Even if ONE of us claims to have forgotten most of it!) Although Telsie moved away for several years, she recently moved back with her husband and children and it is so much fun to be reunited again!

I don't think our husbands were prepared to see their 30-year-old wives giggling like school girls when we got together but I have to admit that I haven't laughed until I cried in a long LONG time and it was a great feeling. I was euphoric the rest of the night. I hope my girls are as blessed as I was to be surrounded and supported by lifelong friends! (Love you Rachel and Telsie! Really, nothing compares to the comfort of an old friend and I am so grateful you're in my life. )

Telsie, Trish, Rachel in 1996 (I think!)

13 years (and many children) later

But next time, Rachel, I'm going to win the game!

Blushing, eggs and dead chicken

It's Writers Workshop With MamaKat again and I'm taking the challenge to write about things my kids are saying. I'm including some embarrasing funny things I remember from the not-too-distant past:

Last week Melody (my eight-year-old) was sifting through my makeup box as I got ready for the day.

Melody: "What's this?" She asked as she held up my little jar of pink powdery blush (LOVE that BareMinerals makeup by the way).

Me: It's called blush.

Melody: (looking like she now understands the before-hidden-but-now-revealed Great Secret as her eyes light up and twinkle) Ohhhhh! To make you look sick?

(This next one is a repeat from a post I wrote a while back but later deleted due to Husband's insistence. Shhhh! Don't tell him I re-posted it!)

A few months ago I had to sit the girls down and have "The Talk" with them. Wanting to know exactly what they already knew or suspected about the process, I ask Hali, my nine-year-old, how she thought babies were made. She looks embarrased and annoyed at the same time.

Me: Hali, do you know how babies are made?

Hali: (Rolling her eyes and smiling.)

Me: Well? How do you think it happens?

Hali: (Again rolling eyeballs) You should know, Mom. You do it ALL the time!

{very shocked and uncomfortable pause. Guess who's feeling embarrassed now!}

Hali: Well! You do have five kids ya know!

That concluded our session.



I've never been shy about explaining the due process of nature to my girls, especially when it comes to female matters. If they ask, I tell them (usually in very big words with terms like "Fallopian tubes" or "sanitary items" or "menstruation" hoping they will not quite understand but still be satisfied with my answer). I had just finished telling Hali about "menstruation" and "fallopian tubes" and "unfertilzed eggs" when she started wrestling around with Dad on the ground. (This was before Roman was born and she was the stand-in for a son.) Jimmy had her tackled in some kind of wrestling move and then you hear this squealing noise along with,

"Dad! Dad! Don't squeeze me too tight! You're gonna crack my eggs!"

Lastly, when we were eating at KFC a couple of weeks ago Roman (four-year-old) suddenly realized that the drumstick he was eating had actually been a live chicken once upon a time.

Roman: Mom, was this a real chicken?

Me: (knowing EXACTLY where this is headed) It's meat son. Just eat it.

Roman: (throws drumstick down on plate and looks disgustedly at it) You mean somebody killed this chicken and then cut it up and then cooked it and this use to be a live chicken? Who did that, Mom? Who killed the chicken?

Me: (shushing and looking around the restaurant because young son is being quite dramatic and loud at this point. ) Roman, it's meat. You like it. Just eat it.

Roman: Was it THAT guy, Mom? (pointing to the man at the cash register) Did HE KILL THE CHICKEN???

Mom: (takes drumstick off of Boy's plate and shushes him again) Eat your macaroni, Son. And. be.quiet!!!

Ahhh, I adore my children! I could go on and on with more things my kids are saying (or have said) but many of them would make me blush and I wouldn't want Melody thinking I'm coming down with the flu or something.

Is there anything funny or memorable your kids have said? Leave a comment and tell us about it!

The Best Advice

It's Friend Makin' Monday again over at All That is Good and we are sharing some 'friendly advice' today. (If you wanna join in the fun click on over and link up!) My advice comes from a great book called, "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrillee Boyack (if you're a woman--and chances are if you're reading this you are-- you so need to buy the book.) When I'm feeling overwhelmed, guilt-ridden, worried about what other people might be saying about me, or just plain down in the dumps I like to refer to this passage to help me get back on track.

"Happiness is:

Courageously doing what you want to do, even if you are scared.
Experiencing your life as an exciting journey.
Stimulating your mind and caring for your body.
Realizing that you already have everything you need to make yourself
happy.
Knowing that you are the only one who can decide what is right or wrong for
you.
Accepting that you are okay even when you blunder and learn from your mistakes.
Knowing that what people say or do is a reflection of them
not you.
Listening to your inner wisdom.
Giving and receiving love unconditionally.

--Annonymous"

So tell me...what is happiness for you?

What it all boils down to...

...is family.

I spent part of my day yesterday at a place I never like to be. The hospital. Just walking into it and being overwhelmed with the smells and the people and the mock sterility makes me uneasy. But I was there to see my dad who was having surgery and not even the bad memories I have of that place could keep me away. There is something about seeing your father so vulnerable and in so much pain with tubes and monitors and IVs and pending surgery with its myriad of unknowns that begins to change how you think about life and what really matters. Prayers become more real. Life becomes more fragile. Family becomes more important.

And then my mind went in a thousand different directions all at once.

I thought of my tiny little Elisabeth and Jimmy's mother whom I never met. Their bodies are buried next to each other in a cemetery I haven't been able to go back to since I left my baby there. I thought of the emptiness of losing a part of me that I didn't get to know long enough . I thought of the sadness of my children and I never meeting their Grandma Faye--someone who is so connected to and part of our family. But then I thought of something else.

Easter.

The greatest event in the history of the world with its accompanying significance changes everything. Death is replaced with life again. Sadness is changed to hope. Emptiness is filled with love. Families are forever.

Dad's surgery went well and he is on his way to recovery. Miracles occured. Prayers were answered. Faith was increased.

Truly, it is a Happy Easter.

Friend-Makin' Mondays

Okay, so I realize that technically Monday is practically a goner, but I don't care and I'm playing along with this fun idea from Kate. Go check her out at her website and follow along. We can get to know each other better!

Today's task: Write about 10 things that get you fuzzed up (apparently that means "madder than cat spit!" So, here goes...

1. When my children lose their shoes and cannot find them--conveniently--at the exact moment when we are running late and must exit the house IMMEDIATELY. Totally fuzzed!

2. Women who judge other women. New post coming soon about this because I was madder than cat spit about this one a while back!

3. When dear sweet husband ignores me (even though he claims he is 'thinking' I certainly do not believe it requires 15 minutes of thought to answer whether or not he would like ketchup with that!)

4. Women who compare and compete. What's the prize anyways???

5. Exercising my rear off only to find that it's still there after all. Totally fuzzed about that one!

6. People who choose to interpret others' actions and words any way they desire and refuse to believe they may have evaluated the situation wrongly.

7. The amount a doctor charges to look at my kid for 90 seconds and then charge my insurance 184 dollars for a well-child exam. Are you kidding me?

8. People who want something for nothing. All. the. time.

9. Chauvinistic men.

10. Women who create drama, harbor grudges, deny wrongdoing, refuse to apologize, act catty, snob, and snub, all the while pretending they are on higher moral ground. That totally gets me feeling fuzzed! But I'm SO over it.

So what gets you mad as cat spit or all fuzzed up? Go to Kate's website and link up so we can all find out!

Say What???

I took Hali and Melody grocery shopping with me this morning. We were on a mission to get three things: canola oil, cheese and bread. La la la la la down the isles and the next thing I know my cart is nearly full. And I wish I could blame it on the girls but the sad truth of it is that Mom was hungry when we went (yes, I know...I broke the cardinal Number One Rule of Shopping--DON'T GO WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY)! Anyways...

We stopped for donuts last of all because it was Saturday and I was totally going to score some Cool Mom points with the fam. Finally, as we make our way to the checkout lines I see a couple more things I want to pick up: lunch meat, thinly sliced Italian bread--you know, essentials--when I hear Hali, my nine-year-old, huff as she remarks under her breath to Melody,


"We are SO over-budget!"

to which 8-year-old Melody replies, "Yeah. We are definitely over encumbered."

SAY WHAT? over-budget?! over encumbered? Whose kids are these anyways???

Becoming my mother

It's Writer's Workshop with MamaKat again and this time I'm writing about how I am becoming like my mother. Which reminds me of something I told my sister the other day. I was having 'one of those days' with the kids at Spring Break and I said to her, "I don't hold anything against Mom from my childhood because now I know exactly how she felt!" We both had a chuckle but at that moment I had the urge to call up my mother and tell her how much I appreciated, admired, and respected her for who she is and what she went through as a young mother.

I have become like my mother in insiginficant ways like the fact that we both had five children. Four girls and one boy each. All of her kids' names start with the letters H, M, T, L, and R; my kids' names start with H, M, L, R, and T. We both lost a baby during our fifth pregnancy. We both have a little brown spot on our faces that appeared after the birth of one of our babies. I am told we have the same cheekbones, the same lips, the same laugh, and often sound the same when we talk.

But more importantly, I am trying to become more like my mother in things that actually matter. I am trying to show my kids in little, thoughtful ways that I love them. I try to put little notes in their lunches and make after-school cookies. We eat dinner together at the table each night. Like her, I am trying to be involved with my childrens' school, teach them to love reading, support them in their interests. Like Mom, I am trying to let my children see me reading the scriptures so they will learn to love them, too. I am taking them to church every Sunday. I am trying to teach them at home the best that I can.

I am becoming like my mother each day as I walk the path she has gone down before, the same one that her mother took and on and on throughout the generations of mothers that came before us. I am learning that motherhood is not exactly what I imagined it would be. It's hard. There are days I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Children are not always pleasant or obedient or clean. And that means Mom is not always chipper, fun, or energized. As a child I didn't understand the times when Mom and I would clash or the fact that she was undoubtedly stressed out, maxed out, and worn out.

I hope I can continue to become like her and remember to apologize when I make mistakes. To get up the next morning and do it better. To keep trying. Not. give. up. And someday, like her, I can look back on these early years of motherhood with a mixture of fondness and relief, ready to pass on this legacy of motherhood to my daughters and hope that they keep some of the good qualities, delete and not repeat the same mistakes, and create their own unique, beautiful version of us.