Loving the Dew...

Sheri Dew, that is! I just came across these great quotes from a book Mom gave me the other day, "Saying It Like It Is" by Sheri Dew. It is a little book filled with great quotes from Sister Dew, who knows how to say it like it is and doesn't waste time mincing her words. She is my idol! Here are two of my favorites I thought I'd share:

"On those days when we're not ready to stop being offended, not ready to
forgive, still determined to dish out the silent treatment, what we're actually
saying is, 'Thanks, but I don't want to become more like the Savior today.
Maybe tomorrow. But not today.' Perhaps those are the times when we
need to pray the hardest, the times it becomes clear that a change in behavior
is not enough--that we must have a change in nature." ---Sheri
Dew

After I read this I realized that I can't just try to ignore difficult relationships or hurt feelings. That's not the high road and it is preventing spiritual growth for everyone involved. Plus, it really doesn't work, anyways! Consider this:

"It is not possible to come unto Christ with all of our hearts if our hearts are tied in knots with envy or anger or resentment or pride. It's not possible to have a mighty change of heart if we're harboring grudges. It's not possible to give our hearts to God when they're laden with the baggage of sin or regret or spiritual neglect. And yet, all the Lord really wants from us is our hearts." (Again, Sheri Dew)

We women are masters of issues of the heart. We know just how to heal them, touch them, mend them, soften them, warm them. But we are also prone to the uncanny ability to wound them, break them, and keep them all walled up. But if it's our hearts that the Lord is wanting, we might do well to examine ours and see if it's fit for the taking.





Just a few thought from my heart, to yours....

Writer's Workshop Wednesday

"Something I'm putting off right now is..."

...my aspirations to finish school and pursue my dream of writing, editing, or teaching school in order to stay home and raise my five children. I used to feel kinda bad about my decision to put schooling aside for awhile after I earned my Associates degree. At the time I was working in the administrative offices of a school district and I received no small amount of scorn from the other women for my choice.

"You can work and be a mom," I was told over and over by my supervisers. "Women do it all the time."

But I knew that wasn't the route for me. It wasn't because I wasn't smart enough or talented enough or capable enough to pursue my ambitions. It was because I chose to be a mother.

Back then I didn't have the wisdom or the maturity to communicate to those women I worked with the importance of the choice I was making to put off some of my goals for awile in order to focus on the one thing that mattered to me the most. I imagine they are still shaking their heads to think of the possibilities I passed up to pursue my most important, ennobling work yet. But Sheri Dew says it best with these words:

"Through her mothering, a woman is the consummate leader of leaders. If we truly believe that we are here in mortality to be tested and to demonstrate by the way we live our lives whether we want to be part of the kingdom of God or not, then what could possibly be more significant than bearing a child and thus making it possible for a spirit son or daughter to advance beyond the preparatory state or premortal life and enter the testing stage of earth life? And having borne that child, what could possibly be more enduring or important in the eyes of our Heavenly Father than nurturing one of His sons or daughters--teaching and cheering that precious soul on, preparing him or her to pass the test?

"Nothing. No diplomat or CEO or billionaire philanthropist does anything that comes anywhere close in importance to what a mother does. No trophy or statys or honor of man begins to compare with motherhood in terms of its eternal impact and glory. Period."

And that, folks, makes putting some things off for a while totally worth it!

Have you heard...

...about the fabulous Fishful Thinking initiative that Pepperidge Farms is undertaking to help kids and parents achieve positive thinking and overcome obstacles? It is awesome. It is a website designed to help families encourage communication and optimism and understand feelings...and so much more. It has all kinds of activities for parents and children to enjoy together. I hope you click here and check it out because you are going to love it!

I've just become an *ambassador* for Fishful Thinking and will earn a point for each person who checks it out. But more than that, moms, I'm not kidding you...this site is gold!

A Friendly Question

I have been dreading this type of situation. I expected it would come. I just didn't anticipate it would happen so early. What do you do when you don't like your kids' friends?

Here's the deal. My nine-year-old Tom Boy has made friends with The Boy Next Door. They like to play swords and hang out in the playhouse in the backyard. (Yeah. Somebody please inform my daughter she is a GIRL! But that's a whole 'nother ballgame, folks.) Anyways, I am cool with the fact that my daughter's best buddies are all boys. She's got more in common with them right now. Fine. I get it. But why this boy? This boy who marches into my house (without even knocking thank-you-very-much) and asks me "What's for snack?" Hello? Is this the neighborhood snack house? Now, don't get me wrong. I really don't mind feeding the little flock of the block but when they start waltzing in here like they own the place it just rubs me the wrong way.

I kept my mouth shut for a little while. I think I was hoping that this boy would just be a phase or (dare I hope) maybe just MOVE AWAY. Not looking promising. Then comes the day where he kicks my girl in the face and then slinks away before I am able to find out about it. And that's when I find out that he also has taken the liberty of explaining his version of The Birds and the Bees to my four small children. (Which by the way was totally anatomically inaccurate!)

My problem is that this boy will not go away! Hali is determined to be friends with him and I knew I was in trouble when she countered my 25 Reasons I Really Don't Like The Boy Next Door with, "I don't care about all that stuff, mom! He's my friend and I want to play with him!!"

Crud! I'm thinking. So it's began. The battle of the wills. Hers against mine. I am left wondering if it's a battle worth fighting or to shut my mouth and hope and pray that my strong-willed girl will see the light on her own someday. I have a feeling I'll need my energy for a more important fight someday.

Who knew this parenting business could be so tricky?

Delightful, Dazzling D

I got tagged by my friend, Holly and I'm supposed to write 10 things I love that start with the letter D. This was a toughy, but here goes...

1. Daisies (the white ones)
2. Disposable diapers (do I get double points for dat one?)
3. Disney movies (they make Darn good babysitters when you need some down-time!)
4. Days off (Jimmy's that is. Like I ever get them!)
5. Dates with my hubby (too few and far between)
6. Drives to Durango (especially in the Fall!)
7. Dessert (double chocolate brownies anyone? SO delicious!)
8. Drinking water (dorky, I know, but's it's da truth
9. Dialing a friend's number for a chat
10. Dreaming, 'cause that means I'm sleeping and I SO love my sleepy times!

Okey dokey, all done! Now I tag anyone whose name (first or last!) begins with an M, R, L, E, H or T (all beginning letters of my kids' names!) to write 10 things they love that begin with the letter G. And leave me a comment if you are participating so I can come check it out!

Turning One was Not So Fun

poor Teagy...has the tummy flu on her birthday!

Teagernannie (as Jimmy calls her)

is one year old today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the little girl who came into our world and made the sadness in our hearts after losing Elisabeth feel a whole lot lighter. They say when a child is born after losing one before that the new baby is like a rainbow after the dark storm. It's true. Teagan Shenene is our Rainbow Baby and she's made our life so much better because she is in it. Love you, Teags!

Unfortunately today she is sick sick sick so we will have to postpone our celebration...after all, nobody wants to throw up their first birthday cake, right?

Mama Kat's WWW

(That's writer's worskshop Wednesday, in case you were wondering)

So the prompts today are:
1.) I used to think...
2.) List ten things you can do in three minutes.
3.) Describe a time you allowed your child to do something that you normally would not let slide.
4.) I want to become friends with...
5.) What are you currently fascinated with?

(check out the little Mama's Losin' It button on the sidebar if you want to play along)


After some deliberation I chose....(drumroll please)......


#4, #1 AND #5 ALL IN ONE SHOT...

I want to become friends with a variety of people. Women who are younger than me. Older than me. Stay-at-home moms. Working moms. My children's teachers. Basketball coaches.

Okay, maybe not basketball coaches. (refer to Victory)


Women in my ward. Women who aren't in my ward. Sisters. In laws. People who are just like me. People who are nothing like me.



Okay, well that might not work out too well.


I am a people person. I love people. All kinds and varieties. I don't believe in holding grudges. I don't like hanging on to hurt feelings. I don't want to be forced to take sides between two different people that I respect and admire. I don't want to be accountable to anyone else for the other people I spend time with or talk to or sympathize with. I just want to be friends with everyone.

I used to think that I could have the best of both worlds. Have a small collection of 'best' friends and still be friendly with other people as well. That pretty much backfired on me recently. But it was an important lesson to learn. I am fascinated that it's taken me over 30 years to realize that although I want to have and be a friend.--a true friend.--to many different people, I don't want to declare fealty to any of them.


Okay. Except for maybe one...






So..what's so bad about that?

"This is my day..."

Melody Faye was baptized and confirmed March 15th by her dad. It was such a sweet, simple evening. My favorite memory of it was going to check on Melody and finding her sitting on the steps leading down to the font, looking so peaceful.

Giveaways, SITS, and more

Okay...so here's the deal. If you have been checking out my blog for any amount of time you will have noticed a huge increase in comments! Which is a good thing for me because I am a Comment Craver. I don't care if you like me or agree with what I'm saying but I love to feel a connection with what I write and the people who have so kindly taken the time to read it. Anywho...I recently joined this "SITSstahood" called The Secret's in the Sauce (hence the nickname SITS). Anyways it's this massive connection between a ton of bloggers and you get a bunch of comments and are able to meet lots of new amazing people. So follow the button on my sidebar and join in if you'd like. I think you'll be glad you did.

Now, having said that there is this cool little lady who has a bloggy giveaway going on right now. The website is http://www.ourdandelionwishes.com/2009/03/fabulous-giveaway.html and she's got some way adorable things she's trying to give away. For free. And they're really cute.

Notice also the new little goldfishy guy on the sidebar. That's a link to a website called "Fishful Thinking" which is an awesome effort of helping parents to instill confidence and positivism in their children. Beings as I have 4 daughters I love this site as I think girls are assailed with negative self-image. But we all know about that.

Anyways, just thought I'd share some of this stuff. Melody is getting baptized tonight so I'll be posting some pics of that later on. Happy Sunday!

Writer's Workshop

It's supposed to be Writer's Workshop Wednesday (yes, I KNOW it's already Thursday) but I'm going to play along anyways because I love these things!

The prompt: Tell about a time you hurt somebody that still bothers you today.

That was a toughie for me. Not because there hasn't been a time I have hurt somebody but because it's hard to choose just one. There have been times within the last year that I have foolishly hurt people and regret the role I played in it. But it's so much easier to talk about the past...like the way, way distant past...so that's where I'm heading.

I was 14(ish). All the young women in the ward were singing a special number in sacrament meeting that we had been practicing for weeks on. We all march up the steps to the stand and take our places and begin the song. I was standing next to my best friend, Rachel. Everything is fine for about 10 seconds and then one of the Beehives (a 12-year-old girl) begins to really belt it out. Loud. The problem: she was absolutely tone deaf. It sounded so bad. At first Rachel and I exchange glances and try to conceal our smiles. Then we start pinching eachother's hands in a crazy effort not to laugh. Because to a couple of immature 14-year-olds the whole thing was absolutely hilarious. Finally it becomes all to much and we erupt into a fit of giggles no matter how hard we were trying not to. Thankfully the song eventually ended but that was just the beginning of it for me. After the meeting was over a tall, blonde, outspoken woman stalked Rachel and me out to the hallway where she cornered us and I'll never forget the encounter that followed.

"You girls should be ashamed of yourselves! Everyone in the congregation knew what you were laughing at. I can't believe that you would behave that way. You should know better!"

And we should have. We hurt that poor girl's feelings. A girl who was a little "off" anyways and probably dealt with being made fun of on a regular basis. I went home and wrote about the experience in my journal and to this day regret that I couldn't understand the situation for what it was. She was just another girl like me who was on the stand that day singing a song to show her love and faith in the Lord. Except unlike me, at least her heart was in the right place.

Evolution of a Relationship

I have an ultimate favorite 'spiritual' book (besides the scriptures, of course) titled, "Spiritual Lightening" by M. Catherine Thomas. I've been feeling confused about a particular turn of events in my life lately then felt like I needed to re-read a chapter in this book. Thought I'd share it with you:

"We tend to see life's experiences as random, helter-skelter in their design but it would appear that all the people in our lives are there for important reasons. We stand in a sacred relationship to them. They and we cannot be made perfect without eachother. By divine design, they are not there to satisfy us. Rather, they are given to us to make possible a much greater love than we would have been capable of in a situation where everybody agreed with us, everybody loved us, everybody saw everything the way we do. They are there to change us and to tell us what we need to know and to help us evolve along godly lines. Those who are difficult and abrasive in our lives are friends in disguise. They are there to teach us to perfect love in ourselves, not to perfect them....

"What if life were entirely fabricated to teach us the lessons we neeed to know, even down to the people crossing our paths day in and day out and even the things these people have to say to us?...What if our only real assignment in life was to listen carefully, with reverence, being touched in an intimate way, changing and evolving from our associations with each other...

"I am learning that being task-oriented, being too attached to my day-planner, misses the point of life: tasks are just means by which God gets us together so that we can affirm and encourage and bless and learn from eachother. It is people-work that really matters. People are not interruptions in what we want to get done--they are the reasons we're here!" (pp. 141, 143)

*********************************

It's easy to love people who are easy to love. But I would venture to say that the relationships that have really made us better people are the ones we have had to work really hard and really long at. Marriages. Sisterhood. Parent-child. Close Friends. I can't think of any true, lasting relationship I've had with anyone that hasn't included some irritating moments, tongue-biting, soul-searching, and a lot of over-looking and forgiving. Thank you, to all of the people who have crossed my path and made me who I am today. The evolution is sometimes a painful one, but if we learn to ebb and flow with the tides and not give up, it's worth it in the end.

*(Note: Obviously the 'hard' times referred to are the typical day-to-day struggles...this does not apply to relationships that are abusive in any form.)

So tell me...what do you think about evolving relationships and which ones are you most grateful for?

Writer's Workshop

I happened across a link to a writer's workshop blog and wanted to give it a go. The prompt was to complete the sentence... Normal is

Normal is tough. Normal is hard. And when life is tough and hard I really think that's normal. We fight it. We cry and ask 'why me?' and wonder what thing we did to deserve such an unfair lot in life. But when we look around...you know, past the fronts other people put on or behind the scenes of people's lives we have assumed were so flawless, and then we realize something. Oh...their life is tough, too. They struggle just like I do. Huh.

I realized this recently when I was dealing with a hand I didn't like so much. I prayed and prayed that this hardship would just go away. Disappear. Dissolve. But month after month and year after year it still hovers oppressively. And then one day (Sunday, actually) I got it. Maybe it's not supposed to go away. Maybe I'm supposed to learn something from it. Grow because of it. And eventually... maybe even appreciate it.

Normal is... tough. But it's worth it.

The link to the blog I got this prompt from is www.mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com Check it out and try your hand at it!

You game???

Here's a fun blog game courtesy of my cousin, Tori, from Oklahoma.

The first 3 people to respond to this post will get something made by me. My choice. Made especially for you.

Restrictions and Limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It will be done this year.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be, because I don't even know what it's going to be!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The Catch: You must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who comment on your post and agree to do the same! So get ready for your mystery treat but be prepared to share the love!

Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you get when you get it.