Blushing, eggs and dead chicken

It's Writers Workshop With MamaKat again and I'm taking the challenge to write about things my kids are saying. I'm including some embarrasing funny things I remember from the not-too-distant past:

Last week Melody (my eight-year-old) was sifting through my makeup box as I got ready for the day.

Melody: "What's this?" She asked as she held up my little jar of pink powdery blush (LOVE that BareMinerals makeup by the way).

Me: It's called blush.

Melody: (looking like she now understands the before-hidden-but-now-revealed Great Secret as her eyes light up and twinkle) Ohhhhh! To make you look sick?

(This next one is a repeat from a post I wrote a while back but later deleted due to Husband's insistence. Shhhh! Don't tell him I re-posted it!)

A few months ago I had to sit the girls down and have "The Talk" with them. Wanting to know exactly what they already knew or suspected about the process, I ask Hali, my nine-year-old, how she thought babies were made. She looks embarrased and annoyed at the same time.

Me: Hali, do you know how babies are made?

Hali: (Rolling her eyes and smiling.)

Me: Well? How do you think it happens?

Hali: (Again rolling eyeballs) You should know, Mom. You do it ALL the time!

{very shocked and uncomfortable pause. Guess who's feeling embarrassed now!}

Hali: Well! You do have five kids ya know!

That concluded our session.



I've never been shy about explaining the due process of nature to my girls, especially when it comes to female matters. If they ask, I tell them (usually in very big words with terms like "Fallopian tubes" or "sanitary items" or "menstruation" hoping they will not quite understand but still be satisfied with my answer). I had just finished telling Hali about "menstruation" and "fallopian tubes" and "unfertilzed eggs" when she started wrestling around with Dad on the ground. (This was before Roman was born and she was the stand-in for a son.) Jimmy had her tackled in some kind of wrestling move and then you hear this squealing noise along with,

"Dad! Dad! Don't squeeze me too tight! You're gonna crack my eggs!"

Lastly, when we were eating at KFC a couple of weeks ago Roman (four-year-old) suddenly realized that the drumstick he was eating had actually been a live chicken once upon a time.

Roman: Mom, was this a real chicken?

Me: (knowing EXACTLY where this is headed) It's meat son. Just eat it.

Roman: (throws drumstick down on plate and looks disgustedly at it) You mean somebody killed this chicken and then cut it up and then cooked it and this use to be a live chicken? Who did that, Mom? Who killed the chicken?

Me: (shushing and looking around the restaurant because young son is being quite dramatic and loud at this point. ) Roman, it's meat. You like it. Just eat it.

Roman: Was it THAT guy, Mom? (pointing to the man at the cash register) Did HE KILL THE CHICKEN???

Mom: (takes drumstick off of Boy's plate and shushes him again) Eat your macaroni, Son. And. be.quiet!!!

Ahhh, I adore my children! I could go on and on with more things my kids are saying (or have said) but many of them would make me blush and I wouldn't want Melody thinking I'm coming down with the flu or something.

Is there anything funny or memorable your kids have said? Leave a comment and tell us about it!

The Best Advice

It's Friend Makin' Monday again over at All That is Good and we are sharing some 'friendly advice' today. (If you wanna join in the fun click on over and link up!) My advice comes from a great book called, "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrillee Boyack (if you're a woman--and chances are if you're reading this you are-- you so need to buy the book.) When I'm feeling overwhelmed, guilt-ridden, worried about what other people might be saying about me, or just plain down in the dumps I like to refer to this passage to help me get back on track.

"Happiness is:

Courageously doing what you want to do, even if you are scared.
Experiencing your life as an exciting journey.
Stimulating your mind and caring for your body.
Realizing that you already have everything you need to make yourself
happy.
Knowing that you are the only one who can decide what is right or wrong for
you.
Accepting that you are okay even when you blunder and learn from your mistakes.
Knowing that what people say or do is a reflection of them
not you.
Listening to your inner wisdom.
Giving and receiving love unconditionally.

--Annonymous"

So tell me...what is happiness for you?

What it all boils down to...

...is family.

I spent part of my day yesterday at a place I never like to be. The hospital. Just walking into it and being overwhelmed with the smells and the people and the mock sterility makes me uneasy. But I was there to see my dad who was having surgery and not even the bad memories I have of that place could keep me away. There is something about seeing your father so vulnerable and in so much pain with tubes and monitors and IVs and pending surgery with its myriad of unknowns that begins to change how you think about life and what really matters. Prayers become more real. Life becomes more fragile. Family becomes more important.

And then my mind went in a thousand different directions all at once.

I thought of my tiny little Elisabeth and Jimmy's mother whom I never met. Their bodies are buried next to each other in a cemetery I haven't been able to go back to since I left my baby there. I thought of the emptiness of losing a part of me that I didn't get to know long enough . I thought of the sadness of my children and I never meeting their Grandma Faye--someone who is so connected to and part of our family. But then I thought of something else.

Easter.

The greatest event in the history of the world with its accompanying significance changes everything. Death is replaced with life again. Sadness is changed to hope. Emptiness is filled with love. Families are forever.

Dad's surgery went well and he is on his way to recovery. Miracles occured. Prayers were answered. Faith was increased.

Truly, it is a Happy Easter.

Friend-Makin' Mondays

Okay, so I realize that technically Monday is practically a goner, but I don't care and I'm playing along with this fun idea from Kate. Go check her out at her website and follow along. We can get to know each other better!

Today's task: Write about 10 things that get you fuzzed up (apparently that means "madder than cat spit!" So, here goes...

1. When my children lose their shoes and cannot find them--conveniently--at the exact moment when we are running late and must exit the house IMMEDIATELY. Totally fuzzed!

2. Women who judge other women. New post coming soon about this because I was madder than cat spit about this one a while back!

3. When dear sweet husband ignores me (even though he claims he is 'thinking' I certainly do not believe it requires 15 minutes of thought to answer whether or not he would like ketchup with that!)

4. Women who compare and compete. What's the prize anyways???

5. Exercising my rear off only to find that it's still there after all. Totally fuzzed about that one!

6. People who choose to interpret others' actions and words any way they desire and refuse to believe they may have evaluated the situation wrongly.

7. The amount a doctor charges to look at my kid for 90 seconds and then charge my insurance 184 dollars for a well-child exam. Are you kidding me?

8. People who want something for nothing. All. the. time.

9. Chauvinistic men.

10. Women who create drama, harbor grudges, deny wrongdoing, refuse to apologize, act catty, snob, and snub, all the while pretending they are on higher moral ground. That totally gets me feeling fuzzed! But I'm SO over it.

So what gets you mad as cat spit or all fuzzed up? Go to Kate's website and link up so we can all find out!

Say What???

I took Hali and Melody grocery shopping with me this morning. We were on a mission to get three things: canola oil, cheese and bread. La la la la la down the isles and the next thing I know my cart is nearly full. And I wish I could blame it on the girls but the sad truth of it is that Mom was hungry when we went (yes, I know...I broke the cardinal Number One Rule of Shopping--DON'T GO WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY)! Anyways...

We stopped for donuts last of all because it was Saturday and I was totally going to score some Cool Mom points with the fam. Finally, as we make our way to the checkout lines I see a couple more things I want to pick up: lunch meat, thinly sliced Italian bread--you know, essentials--when I hear Hali, my nine-year-old, huff as she remarks under her breath to Melody,


"We are SO over-budget!"

to which 8-year-old Melody replies, "Yeah. We are definitely over encumbered."

SAY WHAT? over-budget?! over encumbered? Whose kids are these anyways???

Becoming my mother

It's Writer's Workshop with MamaKat again and this time I'm writing about how I am becoming like my mother. Which reminds me of something I told my sister the other day. I was having 'one of those days' with the kids at Spring Break and I said to her, "I don't hold anything against Mom from my childhood because now I know exactly how she felt!" We both had a chuckle but at that moment I had the urge to call up my mother and tell her how much I appreciated, admired, and respected her for who she is and what she went through as a young mother.

I have become like my mother in insiginficant ways like the fact that we both had five children. Four girls and one boy each. All of her kids' names start with the letters H, M, T, L, and R; my kids' names start with H, M, L, R, and T. We both lost a baby during our fifth pregnancy. We both have a little brown spot on our faces that appeared after the birth of one of our babies. I am told we have the same cheekbones, the same lips, the same laugh, and often sound the same when we talk.

But more importantly, I am trying to become more like my mother in things that actually matter. I am trying to show my kids in little, thoughtful ways that I love them. I try to put little notes in their lunches and make after-school cookies. We eat dinner together at the table each night. Like her, I am trying to be involved with my childrens' school, teach them to love reading, support them in their interests. Like Mom, I am trying to let my children see me reading the scriptures so they will learn to love them, too. I am taking them to church every Sunday. I am trying to teach them at home the best that I can.

I am becoming like my mother each day as I walk the path she has gone down before, the same one that her mother took and on and on throughout the generations of mothers that came before us. I am learning that motherhood is not exactly what I imagined it would be. It's hard. There are days I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Children are not always pleasant or obedient or clean. And that means Mom is not always chipper, fun, or energized. As a child I didn't understand the times when Mom and I would clash or the fact that she was undoubtedly stressed out, maxed out, and worn out.

I hope I can continue to become like her and remember to apologize when I make mistakes. To get up the next morning and do it better. To keep trying. Not. give. up. And someday, like her, I can look back on these early years of motherhood with a mixture of fondness and relief, ready to pass on this legacy of motherhood to my daughters and hope that they keep some of the good qualities, delete and not repeat the same mistakes, and create their own unique, beautiful version of us.

Loving the Dew...

Sheri Dew, that is! I just came across these great quotes from a book Mom gave me the other day, "Saying It Like It Is" by Sheri Dew. It is a little book filled with great quotes from Sister Dew, who knows how to say it like it is and doesn't waste time mincing her words. She is my idol! Here are two of my favorites I thought I'd share:

"On those days when we're not ready to stop being offended, not ready to
forgive, still determined to dish out the silent treatment, what we're actually
saying is, 'Thanks, but I don't want to become more like the Savior today.
Maybe tomorrow. But not today.' Perhaps those are the times when we
need to pray the hardest, the times it becomes clear that a change in behavior
is not enough--that we must have a change in nature." ---Sheri
Dew

After I read this I realized that I can't just try to ignore difficult relationships or hurt feelings. That's not the high road and it is preventing spiritual growth for everyone involved. Plus, it really doesn't work, anyways! Consider this:

"It is not possible to come unto Christ with all of our hearts if our hearts are tied in knots with envy or anger or resentment or pride. It's not possible to have a mighty change of heart if we're harboring grudges. It's not possible to give our hearts to God when they're laden with the baggage of sin or regret or spiritual neglect. And yet, all the Lord really wants from us is our hearts." (Again, Sheri Dew)

We women are masters of issues of the heart. We know just how to heal them, touch them, mend them, soften them, warm them. But we are also prone to the uncanny ability to wound them, break them, and keep them all walled up. But if it's our hearts that the Lord is wanting, we might do well to examine ours and see if it's fit for the taking.





Just a few thought from my heart, to yours....