Papayas and People-Pleasers

When I was in junior high I had two best friends. We were all alike in some ways. Very different in others. One of my friends (since I don't exactly have her permission to write this, let's call her "Gene"...she'll know why!) was a people-pleaser. Never liked to hurt other people's feelings. Agonized over saying the 'wrong' thing all the time. One day, "Roxy" (the other friend in beforementioned trio) brought dried papaya in her lunch. She offered Gene a piece and--of course--she accepted. Gene chewed. And chewed. And chewed. Then finally swallowed. Yuck! She did not like that dry, rubbery stuff at all! "What do you think? Do you like it?" Ahhh, the moment of crossroads. Should she be honest and say 'no'? What would Roxy think? Would her feelings be hurt? Would it be rude to tell the truth or should she be nice and claim to love it? Guess which one she chose? She's a people-pleaser, mind you. Of course she raved about it! So....every day for the rest of that year and off and on for the next several years Roxy would bring papaya for Gene thinking she was being nice and doing her a huge favor. After all, she LOVED it...right? Well, finally our senior year in high school Gene confessed the truth about papaya which caused us all to laugh. Me, because I knew the truth the whole time and would snicker to myself each time Gene actually continued to eat the stuff. Roxy because she thought it was ridiculous that Gene felt like she had to pretend to like something just so she wouldn't hurt her feelings. We still get a laugh out of it to this day. It's so easy to look at an example like that and realize how trivial it was, but I think a lot of us can relate to that in a lot of ways. I am a self-admitted people-pleaser and I hate being that way sometimes. There are times I disagree with something about someone but remain quiet because I feel like it's not my place to step in or it's just 'my opinion.' So I guess the question is...do you call it "people-pleasing" or just trying to keep the peace? Is it okay to speak your honest opinion and if so when? Sometimes? Always? Only if it doesn't hurt someone? Only if they're your really good friend? Only if you don't care if they like you when you're done speaking? What do you think?

Do you have a favorite child?

I took Leah and Roman to the dentist today. (Can you believe my boy who lives on chocolate and sugar cereal has no cavities?) While I was there I picked up a "Parenting" magazine to scope out my competition (I'm in the process of submitting an article to them or a similar one) and came across an article about parenting and favoritism. The article basically acknowledged that all parents have a 'secret' favorite child. Apparently it can change from time to time depending on moods and circumstances (as in favoring a more helpful child over a particularly whiny one). Anyways, the article got me thinking about whether or not I have a 'favorite' child and if I did, wouldn't that completely mess up the rest of my kids if they knew about it? While the article hinted that there's nothing wrong with it, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Maybe as long as each kid gets their turn being The Favorite. Hmm.... What do you think? Do YOU have a favorite child?

Hali's thoughts...

Ilove my familyvery much. My little sister Teagan is very smart and fun to play with . she is 8 months old! Leah my sister is 5 years she is a girly-girl but i'm not much of a girly- girl. melody is 7 yers old she likes horses. Roman is my brother he is 3 years old sometimes he is annioing but he is fun too. My mom and dad are great too.

7 Things....

I got tagged by Holly. Here goes nothing!

7 Things I Can Do

1. Read books really fast.
2. Talk in sacrament meeting without feeling nervous.
3. Sudoku puzzles.
4. Tune out the whining, fighting, and annoying noises of lots of kids at once.
5. Multitask. I'm a pro.
6. Write. My calling in life.
7. Argue without raising my voice. Jimmy hates this one.

7 Things I Cannot Do

1. Go to bed without brushing my teeth. If only I were that faithful about reading my scriptures!
2. Enjoy watching football. "You seen one game, you seen 'em all." That's what I tell Jimmy. He doesn't agree.
3. Flylady. She's just not the right fit for me.
4. Sing or play the piano. Go Katie and Chandelle.
5. Stay up past 10 o'clock. And that's pushing it.
6. Sleep in past 7:30. My serotonin just won't let me.
7. Give up. I have too big of a conscience!

7 Things I Say Most Often

1. Well, I better get offa here. (referring to the phone)
2. That's a bad choice!
3. Roman, quit!
4. 1.....2......(okay, so I rarely get to three but they get the point)
5. Go tell your dad.
6. Do you want to lose a privilige?
7. I am NOT the family maid!!!

7 Celebrity Admirations

In all honesty, I'm not really that 'into' celebrities. I'm sure there's a lot that do good stuff, but I'm not that into movies or t.v. to care enough about them individually.

7 Favorite Foods

1. Sandwiches
2. Spaghetti
3. Pizza
4. Taco Salad
5. Enchiladas
6. Chocolate anything
7. Cheesecake

7 Things I that attracted me to Jimmy

1. He's the meekest, most humble person I have ever met in my life.
2. He didn't play stupid emotional games like most boys my age did.
3. I've never heard him swear.
4. He is kind. Never talked bad about other people. Ever.
5. He is a hard worker.
6. He has a strong testimony.
7. And yes, he was a great kisser! (Kissing...what is that again?) :)

7 People I Tag

1. Heidee (because you SO need to update your blog)
2. Bree
3. Rachel (yes, this means you need to get your blog up and running!)
4. Tonya
5. Trena
6. Amy Fine
7. Any one else that wants to share their '7 Things' with the rest of us!

Hit and Miss....

We went to Albuquerque this weekend because we were invited to Jimmy's great-niece's third birthday party at the explora! museum. The kids absolutely loved it! Actually, we all did. The party was held in a lab where all the kids got to experiment with baking soda and vinegar (guess what happened!) and then they got to make GLOOP which was slimy and gross and of course the kids loved it. Of course.

Then....we had invited my parents to come down to Albq. so we could all go to the temple. They could go, then we would go while they watched our kids. Well, we got lost trying to find the Inn we were staying at, then we got lost AGAIN trying to find an Olive Garden for dinner. Anyways, we didn't get done with dinner in time to go to a session. So that's strike number two on a temple session for Jimmy and me. URGH! So if you live close to a temple COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS because it is so hard to plan and go with five little kids.

Anyways, the trip was quick but totally worth it. The kids got to swim at the Inn and we had a good time just being together. So it was a hit at the museum but a miss for the temple.... But you know what they say...if at first you don't succeed, TRY, TRY AGAIN. And we will.

Fine Family Fun

"The Fine Five!"

We started a new thing a while back called the "Family Fun Jar". We had a FHE where all of us wrote down fun things we would like to do as a family. We had two stipulations: it had to be something closeby (because I knew the girls would write "go camping") and it had to cost little or no money (because I knew Roman would say, "Go to Disneyland!") Each family home evening we take turns picking one paper from the family fun jar and that is our activity that we do the following Saturday. Last Monday Leah drew Hali's idea to go to Berg Park and ride bikes. We had a crazy busy day on Saturday so we had to postpone until tonight (Monday) but we had a lot of fun!

Mel thought to pop popcorn and feed the ducks while we were there. It wouldn't be a trip to Berg Park if we didn't feed the ducks!

Leah was dissapointed I wouldn't let her strip down to her undies and wade in the water. My children do not understand the meaning of 'SEASONS!'

"Hey, there, little cutie! Want a ride?" We hope he won't be picking up any other girls!

This is our little leaf-eater. Isn't she pretty?

"Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy"

So....I read a 'sneak preview' chapter from a book by one of my favorite authors awhile back but promised myself I would wait to buy it at Walmart when it finally arrived there. Guess what....I found it on Friday! It's called "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrilee Boyack (author of my all-time most favorite parenting book, "The Parenting Breakthrough" (and believe me...I've read a bunch!) It is so full of information and yummy little quotes that make you feel so good...kinda like eating a hot fudge sundae only without the calories! Here is one of my favorites she put in by President Hinckley:

In a very large measure each of us holds the key to the blessings of the Almighty upon us. If we wish the blessing, we must pay the price. A part of that price lies in being faithful. Faithful to what? Faithful to ourselves, to the very best that is within us.

When I read that I was 'dinged', so to speak. (You know when something in your mind and your spirit collide and you feel excited...DING!) What a huge reality to face...we 'hold the key' to our own happiness. Once a friend asked me if I still wished on a star. I laughed and said I did not. I figured I'd get better luck petitioning their Keeper. This quote made me realize that not only do we have to do that, but we must 'pay the price' and DO SOMETHING to get what we want. Okay, one more plug for the book (you really should read this...it's great!) This is Merrilee quoting an anonymous author :

Our lives can be filled with happiness and joy, but the choice is up to us. Happiness is:
Courageously doing what you want to do, even if you are scared.
Experiencing your life as an exciting journey.
Stimulating your mind and caring for your body.
Realizing that you already have everything you need to make yourself happy.
Knowing that your are the only one who can decide what is right and wrong for you.
Accepting that you are okay even when you blunder and learn from your mistakes.
Knowing that what people say or do is a reflecion of them and not you.
Listening to your inner wisdom.
Giving and receiving love unconditionally.

I think it's time to 'catch the joy'!