Blushing, eggs and dead chicken

It's Writers Workshop With MamaKat again and I'm taking the challenge to write about things my kids are saying. I'm including some embarrasing funny things I remember from the not-too-distant past:

Last week Melody (my eight-year-old) was sifting through my makeup box as I got ready for the day.

Melody: "What's this?" She asked as she held up my little jar of pink powdery blush (LOVE that BareMinerals makeup by the way).

Me: It's called blush.

Melody: (looking like she now understands the before-hidden-but-now-revealed Great Secret as her eyes light up and twinkle) Ohhhhh! To make you look sick?

(This next one is a repeat from a post I wrote a while back but later deleted due to Husband's insistence. Shhhh! Don't tell him I re-posted it!)

A few months ago I had to sit the girls down and have "The Talk" with them. Wanting to know exactly what they already knew or suspected about the process, I ask Hali, my nine-year-old, how she thought babies were made. She looks embarrased and annoyed at the same time.

Me: Hali, do you know how babies are made?

Hali: (Rolling her eyes and smiling.)

Me: Well? How do you think it happens?

Hali: (Again rolling eyeballs) You should know, Mom. You do it ALL the time!

{very shocked and uncomfortable pause. Guess who's feeling embarrassed now!}

Hali: Well! You do have five kids ya know!

That concluded our session.



I've never been shy about explaining the due process of nature to my girls, especially when it comes to female matters. If they ask, I tell them (usually in very big words with terms like "Fallopian tubes" or "sanitary items" or "menstruation" hoping they will not quite understand but still be satisfied with my answer). I had just finished telling Hali about "menstruation" and "fallopian tubes" and "unfertilzed eggs" when she started wrestling around with Dad on the ground. (This was before Roman was born and she was the stand-in for a son.) Jimmy had her tackled in some kind of wrestling move and then you hear this squealing noise along with,

"Dad! Dad! Don't squeeze me too tight! You're gonna crack my eggs!"

Lastly, when we were eating at KFC a couple of weeks ago Roman (four-year-old) suddenly realized that the drumstick he was eating had actually been a live chicken once upon a time.

Roman: Mom, was this a real chicken?

Me: (knowing EXACTLY where this is headed) It's meat son. Just eat it.

Roman: (throws drumstick down on plate and looks disgustedly at it) You mean somebody killed this chicken and then cut it up and then cooked it and this use to be a live chicken? Who did that, Mom? Who killed the chicken?

Me: (shushing and looking around the restaurant because young son is being quite dramatic and loud at this point. ) Roman, it's meat. You like it. Just eat it.

Roman: Was it THAT guy, Mom? (pointing to the man at the cash register) Did HE KILL THE CHICKEN???

Mom: (takes drumstick off of Boy's plate and shushes him again) Eat your macaroni, Son. And. be.quiet!!!

Ahhh, I adore my children! I could go on and on with more things my kids are saying (or have said) but many of them would make me blush and I wouldn't want Melody thinking I'm coming down with the flu or something.

Is there anything funny or memorable your kids have said? Leave a comment and tell us about it!