River

Thinking about this little life inside of me. I love to lay still and wait for the little flutterings in my womb and it never even phases me that something as small as my fist has the ability to fill up my entire being with excitement and love.

I signed the kids up to return back to public school this Fall. It was such a huge huge decision for me. It caused no small amount of anxiety and mental stress as I deliberated and went back and forth about it. I love being with my kids. I love watching them interact together as they create forts outside or play with math manipulatives. I love to see their eyes light up when they read a book for the first time or really begin to understand fractions or memorize the 6's in their times tables. I like knowing the details of their education. I like being able to choose the books they will study from and to have the liberty of designing just the right curriculum for each of them.
I love the flexibility of not having to fit my life to someone else's schedule but to be able to go and do or stay and study as we please. I appreciate knowing what and whom my kids are being influenced by.

But public school has its own set of benefits as well. I'm looking forward to just being "Mom" again. Not having to hound and harangue, nag and nudge. I am anxious to greet the kids after school with a slice of homemade bread and a glass of milk as we talk about their day and do homework together. Although it does cause me some trepidation, I am glad that the kids will be able to experience the social faux pas of the playground. For awhile I was filled with fear about how the world has changed so much and is scarier than it used to be. But these latter-day spirits are coming to earth better prepared and stronger than they used to be, too. They shouldn't be denied the growth of opposition and challenges that will surely come in a public school setting. And as their Mom I am ready for the challenge of doing all I can to prepare them for what they may come across and to support them and encourage them as do.

But all of that doesn't mean I will be giving up our home educating attitude. I still plan on reading to them about the wonders of the Creation in our astronomy book that we love. They can be sure I will be all over their homework and classwork, knowing exactly where they struggle and need more help. They will still be doing my favorite English lessons and reading The Classics at home and we will still work together on memorizing poems and scriptures. We will continue to go on family field trips and foster a love of life and learning every day.

And if it doesn't work out and I feel like we need to make adjustments, then we will. Because I am all about doing what's best when it's best and changing course when the journey requires. Ebbing. Flowing. Moving. Growing. Just like *River.



*-which incidentally is the name of our new baby...whether it's a boy or a girl. Pretty sneaky of me slipping it in there like that, don't you think?