Last week Jimmy took Romy to work him and I had the entire day to do something enjoyable for myself. After the boys left I sat on the couch for a minute wondering what I should do with this rare freetime.
Go get my nails done? Mmmmm, not really into that kind of thing.
Shopping? Hmmm....no money in my shopping spree envelope.
Read? Not really in the mood, surprisingly.
Honestly, I sat there deliberating for awhile and could not think of a thing I wanted to do for fun. Instead my mind flashed to the laundry I should be doing, my eyes flicked up to the dusty fans above my head I should clean. I looked at my scriptures sitting on the shelf and thought I should probably spend my entire just reading them to make up for all the days I had been slacking. Oh and what about visiting teaching? Maybe I should try and tackle that today. I could plan out menus, organize my food storage, clean out the van....
How sad is that? I could rattle off a list a mile long of things I could or should do, but I couldn't think of a single thing I actually wanted to do.
Sometimes I wonder if we mothers put so much of ourselves into our families that we forget to leave a little bit for us. Do we start to forget about the things we used to enjoy? Do we put aside all of our interests in the wake of running our kids to sports practices and events, managing our homes and serving in the community? Do we start to lose ourselves amidst the flurry of our busy lives? Or do our interests and desires simply seem to evolve over the years?
Boyack suggests we women make a "Play Plan." In essence, a list of things we would like to do to help us "find more joy." So, I've been thinking about my list and what I would put on it. Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Write a children's book
2. Learn to play the guitar
3. Start an apron collection
4. Square foot gardening
5. Join or start a book club again
It's a short list and I'm sure I'll add to it. As you think of making one for yourself, consider this advice from the book "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrilee Boyack:
"First write down what you like to do or what you would like to do....
"Second, start small, but do start...Start this week. Pick some small part you can do now and do it! Trust that over time your talent--and your joy--will grow...
"Third, own your joy. I promise you that you will probably encounter resistence...It seems like people--especially women--don't like it when you rock the boat. If you're going around with a giddy smile on your face, they're going to be jealous. If you're talking about some wonderful thing you're doing, they may not want to hear it. That's okay. Own your joy anyway...
"And finally, cut yourself some slack! This Personal Play Plan is not another 'Perfection To-Do List' to flog yourself with. This is a suggestion for a way that might help you catch the joy in your life" (pp 20-21).
Okay, you've seen my list...what would be some things on the top of yours?
11 comments:
Just stopping by from SITS. What a perfect post for me to find!
I have the same problem. When everyone is gone, it is the housework that I do. Hi from the SITStahood.
I literally paid my therapist $125 to tell me this yesterday. oy! Defginitely as moms/wives, we put our needs so far behind everyone else's that we have stopped thinking of oursleves as individuals.
I have been laying on a massage table and been thinking about what I need to do as soon as I was done with this rare treat!!!! Crazy, no?
this is so true, even if i have fun, i get the guilt. i took up salsa and love doing something just for me, out the house...
Hi, I am now a follower of you saw you on sits.
love your content, babys are soooo cute by the way!!
mine is 16!!
am hosting a giveaway
http://www.papermoonies.blogspot.com
Blessings
Brittany
Great post. I need to read that book. I need to learn to have fun again.
visiting from sits
I would take some art classes. My sister laughed at me yesterday when I said one of these days I will start drawing again. I really want to. So I guess my list is:
1. Art classes (drawing, painting, sculpting, etc.)
2. Culinary arts school (for fun)
3. Scrapbooking class
4. Cake decorating class
5. Jewlery class
6. Sewing class
7. Refinish furniture
and I'm sure the list could go on
That's an exciting list! I really want to write a children's book as well and I started a book club about 18 months ago and love it. It's so fun.
And stopping by from SITS to say ooh pick me! pick me! ;-) You know for the new blogging buddy. hehe. Happy Thursday.
Stopping by from SITS! Love this idea, although I don't have any children yet, I do understand the importance of keeping tabs on myself when my life starts getting overcome with my children's lives. =] Awesome post, sounds like a good book too! I will have to check it out!
Blessings to you!
Great list! I have several things I'd love to do: learn to make hair bows, make tutus (I already know how, but I'd like to do it more), scrapbook, arts and crafts... the list goes on. Good luck with yours!
I love when you share the gems you find in your reading!
One thing I would love to do is take water aerobics! I did it a few years ago and absolutely loved it!
I hadn't been in a swimming pool for many many years, because of embarrassment about my weight.
The first night of water aerobics class, I got into the pool and was pretty much just giddy. I had forgotten how much I loved the water.
I think a good place to start is to remember what you used to love.
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