Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Friendly Question

I have been dreading this type of situation. I expected it would come. I just didn't anticipate it would happen so early. What do you do when you don't like your kids' friends?

Here's the deal. My nine-year-old Tom Boy has made friends with The Boy Next Door. They like to play swords and hang out in the playhouse in the backyard. (Yeah. Somebody please inform my daughter she is a GIRL! But that's a whole 'nother ballgame, folks.) Anyways, I am cool with the fact that my daughter's best buddies are all boys. She's got more in common with them right now. Fine. I get it. But why this boy? This boy who marches into my house (without even knocking thank-you-very-much) and asks me "What's for snack?" Hello? Is this the neighborhood snack house? Now, don't get me wrong. I really don't mind feeding the little flock of the block but when they start waltzing in here like they own the place it just rubs me the wrong way.

I kept my mouth shut for a little while. I think I was hoping that this boy would just be a phase or (dare I hope) maybe just MOVE AWAY. Not looking promising. Then comes the day where he kicks my girl in the face and then slinks away before I am able to find out about it. And that's when I find out that he also has taken the liberty of explaining his version of The Birds and the Bees to my four small children. (Which by the way was totally anatomically inaccurate!)

My problem is that this boy will not go away! Hali is determined to be friends with him and I knew I was in trouble when she countered my 25 Reasons I Really Don't Like The Boy Next Door with, "I don't care about all that stuff, mom! He's my friend and I want to play with him!!"

Crud! I'm thinking. So it's began. The battle of the wills. Hers against mine. I am left wondering if it's a battle worth fighting or to shut my mouth and hope and pray that my strong-willed girl will see the light on her own someday. I have a feeling I'll need my energy for a more important fight someday.

Who knew this parenting business could be so tricky?

10 comments:

KatBouska said...

What a nightmare!! There was a kid in the daycare for awhile that Laina really liked and it was the same thing. He was the most disruptive/angry kid you could find. And yet, he was the one for her. Luckily for me his Mom lost his job and had to pull him out of daycare.

Maybe you could start thinking of fun things your daughter can do that will distract her from wanting to play with that boy. Make a new "no neighbor kids in the house" rule...buy her some video games. I don't know...I don't think you will win the all out battle and the more you ACT like you don't want her around him, the more drawn to him she will become.

Why do I feel it's just a matter of time before I'm writing this SAME post??? Good luck!!

Sally's World said...

thanks for your comments on my blog earlier...the thing you said about putting ideas in peoples minds...i said that exact thing after the clare bates story and there were three cases within the next few months...I definitely think there is a link.

i love your blog, i'll follow so i can keep up....

Mamarazzi said...

ugh...totally lame!

Jordan had a girlfriend "S" that i just had a bad feeling about.

read that post here:
http://www.ourdandelionwishes.com/2008/06/advice-needed.html

sometimes its good to trust your mommy sense, but to let your daughter figure it out on her own. THEN you are not the bad guy...

good luck!!

Jason, Alyson, Kaci, Brynley & Ashlynn said...

Oh thank heavens we live on a street where its mostly all retired old folks,lol! Oh how I wish I had some magical advice that would work like a charm, but alas I don't...I know this will happen to all of us at some point in time. give this one to jimmy lol! love you!!

Shalene said...

Im not quite at that stage of being a parent but maybe something you could do is set some ground rules with the boy Like 1. knock before entering the house 2. eat before coming over to your house (i dont know maybe you have already tried that) good luck....

Sturgmom said...

Can you move?

Totally kidding!

That is a tough one, but I don't really have any advice... My oldest used to play with a boy in his class who was pretty much a holy terror, but he didn't live near us so my son only saw him at school. The best I could do was encourage him to play with other children. I hope it all works out for you!

Xazmin said...

I sooo feel your pain. It's such a difficult thing when you are worried about someone your child has chosen for a friend. I try to look at it this way...maybe this will help you, it brings me comfort.

Perhaps this boy has become friends with your daughter because he needs you and your family. Maybe he is supposed to be influenced by they way you all live and interact, and it is important for him to have your presence in his life at this time.

I hope it works out!

Xazmin

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Ohhhh man, I totally know what you're talking about! My daughter is buds with the neighbors and I really can't stand those kids! Is it so bad to really be bugged by poor little kids? I hate how they barge in my house without knocking...GRRR!!! Totally understand!

Lisa W said...

Trish, I understand what you are going through. Brad has become friends with a boy down the street and I can't stand him. He takes food with out asking, has broken toys, and runs a muck at my house. I have told him repeatedly that we don't climb on the couches and he still does. And just the other day Brad was tell him that we were going to the movies and he invited him self. I think at this point I need to talk to his mom. I know you aren't suppose to give the friends time outs but sometimes he really needs one.

The Rambler said...

Oh my. Similar situation. Just my 2 year old wants to play with the 6 year old. And he throws stuff because she retrieves it and I can't stand it. I'm like. She's NOT a dog. UGh.

But she adores him.

Damn.

And if I didn't LOCK my door he'd be sitting inside with us.

Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS day :)